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"Write this down for the next generation so people not yet born will praise God." Psalm 102:18

"Write my answer on a billboard, large and clear, so that anyone can read it at a glance and rush to tell the others." Habakkuk 2:2

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A Call for Help

I'm working on a pitch for the American Christian Fiction Writer's conference that I will be attending next week. A pitch is a hook written in 25 words or less, with the goal of arousing curiosity in an editor to want to know more about your story.

Here is my pitch:

The light keeper’s daughter secretly longs to follow in her father’s footsteps. However her best friend’s overbearingly, pleasant brother threatens to thwart her aspirations.

I need your help. When you read this does it cause any questions to come to mind, and if so what? Any suggestions or comments?

1 comment:

  1. I like the concept, especially since I'm a Mainer!

    I'd tweak it a bit -
    "A" lightkeeper's daughter....

    overbearingly - stay away from ly words

    say something like -

    But her best friend's brother's overbearing good intentions interfere with her aspirations

    Make it active and strong clear words.
    I like the concept a lot.

    Maybe you can add a line at the end that provokes a questions, creates interest.

    Ok, so if that's the case try something like this:

    A lightkeeper's daughter secretly longs to follow in her father's footsteps. When her best friend's well intentioned, but overbearing brother threatens her aspirations, she will go to great lengths to keep her dream alive.

    Best wishes and prayers on your pitch.