I have a confession to make. I have been dragging my heels when it comes to actually jumping in and starting to write my novel about lighthouses. I don't know exactly why. I still am very excited about it, and I know that it is something that God is calling me to do. There are many ideas rolling around in my head, just waiting to be put down on paper. But somehow between the desire and knowledge that this is God's will of me, fear and self-doubt have stepped in and taken root.
I have been praying about it, trying to move forward. This week I have chosen to devote to put the housework on hold, and work on my writing. I find it easy to get distracted with email, or researching ACFW, or other blogs and websites. It becomes hard to discipline myself.
I wondered if it was a struggle with self-confidence, something I deal with from time to time. Do I still have what it takes to write Christian fiction? Even though I have the main idea of the direction for my book, I have been unable to actually get started. It isn't so much writer's block as fear of taking that first step.
This morning in my devotions I read a chapter in Marlene Bagnull's Write His Answer - Encouragement for Christian Writers. She said, "If a crisis of confidence is holding you back from the work you know you have been called to do, it's time to acknowledge that it's not self-confidence you need, but God-confidence."
So today, I am choosing to walk in God-confidence when it comes to my writing.
"This is my work, and I can do it only because Christ's mighty energy is at work within me." (Colossians 1:29 - TLB)
"I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people." (2 Corinthians 12:9 - TLB)
"When I am weak, then I am strong - the less I have, the more I depend on him." (2 Corinthians 12:10 - TLB)
"Stir into flame the strength and boldness that is in you." (2 Timothy 1:6 - TLB)
Today in Our Daily Bread (June 29, 2010) it had this quote. "We are Christ's "letters of recommendation" to all who read our lives. My prayer is that God uses my writing to be His letter of recommendation so that others see Him through the words I write.